The place, Texas in August, somewhere close to Austin.


The time, not now..

The problem:

A woman and a man lie tangled in death, their bodies intertwined to the point that without detailed forensics they cannot be easily sorted. The flesh was comingled at the time of death, only the skeletons are separate. They lie in a deep natural cave and the carnivorous bugs are working the bodies.

1. Who are they?
2. How did they arrive at the discovery site?
3. Where is the death site?
4. What caused their deaths?
5. What was the reason or motive for the deaths? 
6. Where is the discovery site?

Monster and Master has ended.

In the future this site will be dedicated to weird and wonderful logic questions. The rules are simple. I will post situations. Anyone who wishes to can ask any yes/no questions to help explain this situation. Questions i cannot answer yes or no will be answered with a "?".
Enjoy..

It's called a "flame thrower".

Chocolate Internet Goddess: why that's a mighty dirty trick. I sent you'll all to get the savage gnats and you come back with a lame rooster. Oh, lordy...i.....lordy...it's just one of those silly things. How will i ever save the capitol city.  Do you need more tarter sauce! you can get some down at the ddupe store near 51st streeter

Igor: Master! I, um, found one of those electric gnat swatters and rewired it for much higher voltage. It is currently connected to the arc welder. I hope this pleases. *chesher cat grin*

Master Arcturus: Good Igor! Now go eat some of those Gnats, in fact go eat all of those Gnats. Get Nasty to help you if you need help catching them. 

Igor: But they are gnasty gnats,  and do not even taste good with cat paste, Er ketsup. I would much prefer to set them on fire. Yes I like the fire much more master, may I please set them on fire?

Master Arcturus: as long we get them gone! we do not want the goddess angry at us.

Nastydramus: Come on, Igor. I have just the thing. The humans invented it. It's called a "flame thrower". One human said it was for when you have someone way over there you want to set on fire, but just aren't close enough to get the job done.

Savage Gnats

Chocolate Internet Goddess:  Yes, my  green with lemon tea is all the rage, it is more soothing than the trank…….why you ….. are you ….trying to tell me that you thought I had a vino?

Tis much too early in the day.

Really now, what has that to do with zee mission?

You have been advised to get out and get those Savage Gnats. They were last sighted in Austin, Tx near something called Congressional Ave. Big white building that had guard problems. Start there, fan out and get the job done.

It’s seems like such a silly thing, but “She Who Must Be Obeyed, has ordered it done.

No more back talk from you……get the Nasty and get ‘er done.

Ta

Nasty: Gnats? She wants gnats. Not just any gnats. *Savage* Gnats. *Fire Breathing* savage gnats.

Why does she hate you so much?

Master: I was specifically ordered to get Nasty and getter done.. I think you will like savage gnats, especially with tartar sauce..
I can see Igor now, swatter in one hand, tartar sauce in one hand and fork in one hand, swatting the Gnats down, holding them on the fork and saucing them and then stuffing them in his mouth. We need Nasty to spot those of the Gnats that go hyper so Igor can swat them.  

Goddess with short term memory problem

Chocolate Internet Goddess: I am warning you......my staple matic is not a toy. You vill not(the accent comes out when i get upset) it does not take much for me to....)

is that head music, is it a melody: aaaah from my squack box z reminder :breath in ...... and let it out, breath, breath...... what is the foul odor. ......oh, for the love of mikey...you didn't.
Trank....someone get me a trank.


Oh, which one of you is the one with the eye. I have a special assignment for you.
Speak up......do not tremble so, i am really gentle with.....
Hummmm what do i call you?

Master Arcturus: You call him Nasty..

Summoned!

Chocolate Internet Goddess: Attention........Hellooooooooo! (tremble ,,,tremble) it is so wonderful to have such power or these creatures. Wonder what She Who Must be Obeyed will say.




They are now at z attention. Good.



Would you fellows please report for duty. I have an emergency situation here.

No, you will not get to play or work with the oooy gooy. Yes if you are complete the job you will be rewarded in some fashion. And no my space crafter is not available to you.

(in an aside to the exalted one..... If either of them puts his grubby little hands on any thing in my office is is banishment).....



Ahem..... now creatures.....listen up.

Master Arcturus: Groveling in an appealing way, the Master approaches the Goddess with fear and terror. We are here Goddess.

Nobody: is that a staple matic 2000 thumb detacher i see on your desk? oooooo can i plaaaaaaaaayyyy with it? (Screamed while bouncing off the walls.)

Mazed

Master Arcturus: 7:15 AM


so the question is, can Nasty handle all the different senses with any degree of competence?

or do they just confuse the stuffings out of him

Nastydramus: 7:16 AM

That would depend on if anything was done with the brain to help this along?

Master Arcturus: 7:17 AM

no real changes to the brain, other than making the connections

and moving the brain to the center of mass

Nastydramus: 7:17 AM

Then he'd probably be confused without practice.

Master Arcturus: 7:18 AM

so we move him to the practice range in the 7 x sub basement, just over the volcanic caldron

Nastydramus: 7:19 AM

Better lead him, he's got several different visual inputs from all directions telling him conflicting messages.

Master Arcturus: 7:20 AM

i will just use the teleport spell, dunno if i want to be that close to him yet, because of the lloyality spell he cannot want to hurt me, but in this condition he could accidently try.

and the auto-contengency spells have no settings for oopsies

Nastydramus: 7:21 AM

I'll have to remember that.

Master Arcturus: 7:24 AM

yah, even Nasty could not come back from one of those spells

Nastydramus: 7:26 AM

BRB

Master Arcturus: 7:26 AM

ok, training range is an ever changing, mutating maze filled with hazards and hostile life or non-life forms. Nasty knows the drill, begin in the room you are teleported into, the lowest one, a mere 10 feet from the lava and work your way to the top.

the room is a empty bubble where a gas bubble formed from the lava, melting out this chamber. Room temp is close to 1000 degrees F. there is no exit.

Master Arcturus: 7:30 AM

the maze has 2 exits, one down into the lava, not a good option, and the exit into sub, sub, sub, sub, sub, sub basement where there is fresh kamodo bbq and bottles of crude.

in between are a couple hundred miles of compressed space filled with things wanting to hurt and or eat you.

Nastydramus: 7:46 AM

Why would I want to leave?

fire drake that got loose in the library

Master Arcturus: 3:24 PM

Works-oh by the way

Nastydramus: 3:25 PM

No, I won't try to get Lloth to turn me into a drider again.

Master Arcturus: 3:25 PM

The brain in that body is in the center of mass and a teeny tiny part of it is linked to the central guardian control IDE

Nastydramus: 3:26 PM

I thought you hated tech.

Master Arcturus: 3:26 PM

So you can talk to us and perhaps hear us as well in areas where the cell phone does not work -the central guardian IDE is a demon.. 

Nastydramus: 3:27 PM

I miss the old days. Scrolls of sending are very reliable. OK, slightly less time to talk than your average Tweet, but still.

Master Arcturus: 3:27 PM

Ya, but do you remember the fire drake that got loose in the library?

Five more minutes.

Nastydramus: 2:33 PM Mmm... Five more minutes. Master Arcturus: 2:33 PM how do you like your new bod Nastydramus: 2:33 PM It wants to sleep for five more minutes. Master Arcturus: 2:33 PM i gave you a couple of upgrades while you were out, ok, listen while sleeping, you have retractable permi-metal spine spikes, retractable demon wings 5 different dragon eyes, two humanoid eyes, and a whales sonar sender and receiver, perhaps someday you will be able to navigate via sonar Nastydramus: 2:37 PM It'll take practice. Are all five eyes on the same face? Master Arcturus: 2:40 PM I see that I said that badly.. all 30 eyes are in that globe that replaced the head, you have 360 degree rotation and the options of any one eye, one set or any set of multiples The eating function was moved to the thorax area the vocal unit is inside the head globe Nastydramus: 2:42 PM I suppose I didn't need to pass for human much anyway. Nothing glamour couldn't handle. Master Arcturus: 2:42 PM retractable permi-metal claws, with or without toxens-yah, i built a glamour into the head globe-the glamour is the one that can switch chips-and we have a extensive library Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Trigger, Hulk Hogan.. Dean Martin-Frank Nastydramus: 2:44 PM Who's frank? Master Arcturus: 2:44 PM Rob Zombie -Frank Sinatra-Dingus -Liberace Nastydramus: 2:47 PM No, erase that one. No one would ever take that one seriously. Master Arcturus: 2:48 PM sometimes that is a good thing. you also have super-duper aka supernatural strength, pretty fast hyperspeed < 300 mph> and partial phase power. be careful with that last the time limit is 1, short and 2 erratic; minimum of 5 seconds Nastydramus: 2:49 PM It won't get used much. Or at all. Master Arcturus: 2:50 PM max is maybe 2 minutes, consider it a last ditch escape function; I tried to get you teleport, but while it is in there it is .... odd. It is more as if you are not here for a very short time period, you can teleport once a day, for about a mile, but it auto returns after 2 minutes, it could be useful,, I guess. I attempted the morph function also and you can morph Nastydramus: 2:53 PM If I can morph, why do I need the glamour? Master Arcturus: 2:57 PM You just cannot morph much and not to anything you want to be I think Nastydramus: 2:58 PM ... So if I try, I'll-- Never mind, it's typical, really. Master Arcturus: 3:06 PM Your default shapes are monster-i.e. you, pregnant cockroach- broken-winged dove and dung beetle, most of the rest of the programming library got zapped by the transfer media I guess if you get bored, u could experiment. Resistance to toxins is nearly absolute I left out resistance to alcohol.. or limited it, you can still get drunk. But are unable to die from over indulgence not that you are really alive, this body is very heavy.. you were right about the gravity control, but it seems to be limited to walking, you can walk on fog or on rock and anything in between as long as you can perceive a border, you can walk on it walk on water.. Homing sense you will always know where this room is, what direction and how far Nastydramus: 3:20 PM This room? I spend very little time in this room. Master Arcturus: 3:23 PM So, here is the wrapping material for the weasel, go wrap the little beggar up and off to the Drow Slaver holding pens - her friend is the Administrative head for remedial training of mining apprentices Nastydramus: 3:24 PM Right then. It'll take me a day, it's the Lloth pageant and I want to see the show.

the room with the pentagram and the green mushroom beds

Nastydramus: 1:38 PM

Igor, Wake the Master. Gently. Or I'll step on you. I'll rip out your eyes through your nose and leave them dangling there. And then I'll get violent.

Master Arcturus: 1:43 PM

Igor was sniggering when he woke me, did you tell him really nasty joke?

Nastydramus: 1:43 PM

I gave him a thrilling mental image. He'll likely dream on it tonight and improve on it tomorrow.

Master Arcturus: 1:44 PM

heh

well do you have the blood and the weasel?

Nastydramus: 1:45 PM

I'm back, aren't I?

Master Arcturus: 1:47 PM

ok, gimme the blood, put the weasel in one of the holding pens and meet us in the sub,sub,sub,sub, sub basement-- the room with the pentagram and the green mushroom beds

Nastydramus: 1:47 PM

Ugh. Right then

Master Arcturus: 1:49 PM

Master quickly prepares the spell and the interlocking trap spells and the loyality spell and the transfer spell and the stunned stoned spell and others and teleports to the pentagram room

Nastydramus: 1:50 PM

This should be fun

Master Arcturus: 1:50 PM

Heh, how long has it been since we gave you a new body... 3 months?

Nastydramus: 1:51 PM

I got the Super Hero last year.

Master Arcturus: 1:52 PM

ahh

way too long

Nastydramus: 1:52 PM

But I'm not surprised you forgot, you did spend time with the Goddess and that always messes with your time sense.

Master Arcturus: 1:54 PM

among other things

Nastydramus: 1:55 PM

I was trying to spare you the memory.

Master Arcturus: 1:56 PM

Ok, go lay down on the mattress in the middle- (you hear the turbines power up - and lightening starts to chase around the ceiling).

Nastydramus: 1:56 PM

Nap time.

Master Arcturus: 1:57 PM

yes, and when you awaken you will have a nice new bod that will not urge you to do silly 'good' things..

Nastydramus: 1:59 PM

I wonder.

Master Arcturus: 2:00 PM

Master prepares an extra "good erase" spell

Nastydramus: 2:00 PM

Remember when you took me out of the orangutan's body? I still crave the odd grub, you know.

Master Arcturus: 2:01 PM

oh, ya, but we can work on that, give you a grub if needed, these impulses to do the good deeds should go away after my, super erase the good the whole good and all of the good spell, and the evil corruption of all souls potion

Nastydramus: 2:04 PM

ALl right, then, but if I ever pet a kitten, it's your fault.

Master Arcturus: 2:06 PM

the only way you will pet a kitten after this is to lure its litter-mates close enough to nab..

Nastydramus: 2:08 PM

I remain skeptical.

Master Arcturus: 2:33 PM

ok, nighty night... KERZAP... SSSZZZZZKKKKPTsssssssss

wakey wakey

Tripping

Master Arcturus: 12:27 PM

tripped over my  own tongue 

Nastydramus: 12:27 PM

You should shorten it.

Master Arcturus: 12:28 PM

Do you remember what the goddess did the last time i made unauthorized modifications to "her greatest creation"?  

Nastydramus: 12:28 PM

Which time?

You really have a hard time learning.

Master Arcturus: 12:28 PM

the last time

Nastydramus: 12:28 PM

EVERY time is supposed to be "the last time".

Master Arcturus: 12:30 PM

do you really want to have to WALK out of the frozen back side of ***heck*** with 3x normal gravity and that ditzy fruit bat trying to make time with you- all for one paticular snow flake for the offering?

Nastydramus: 12:31 PM

That was you. I distinctly remember she forbade you from sending minions to do your work.

Master Arcturus: 12:31 PM

i think i will stick with begging for her to make the changes, at least i am down to only 2 tongues, talking is much easier

now if i could get it down to one and that one in my mouth

Nastydramus: 12:31 PM

Listening not so much.

Master Arcturus: 12:32 PM

talking through my nose tickles and makes me sneeze

Nastydramus: 12:33 PM

And that's so fun to watch I'm smiling now.

Master Arcturus: 12:33 PM

humph

Nastydramus: 12:34 PM

Hey, remember that one time she put all your teeth on the OUTSIDE of your mouth?

Master Arcturus: 12:34 PM

shudder, oh i remember

Nastydramus: 12:35 PM

Pureed weasels for at least a year...

Master Arcturus: 12:35 PM

i were on a liquid diet FOR ever

Nastydramus: 12:35 PM

Good times. Gooood times.

Master Arcturus: 12:36 PM

The goddess requested a blond weasel with 6 legs ... today! go get it

Nastydramus: 12:37 PM

Is this a punishment for you? Because if it is, you know I'm not allowed to help.

Master Arcturus: 12:37 PM

nope, just somthing for her new "friend"

Nastydramus: 12:39 PM

Ahhh.

Right, then, I'm off.

Master Arcturus: 12:45 PM

when you get back, i have the wrapping paper for the weasel, "SHE" requested YOU deliver it to her "friend".. and, she sent a map

Master Arcturus: 1:06 PM

we will need to do the body up grade first-- i will not send a conflicted minion into the Dark Elves slave holdings, you would get a real headache.. have Igor wake me when you return